“I should hardly think I would!” I insisted that as I was not a slave nor privy to the training of them that I would have no idea of the nature of their discipline.“They would have either drug you behind their horses and then dunked you head first into the creek or made you to carry buckets such as these attached to your teats with water for the day!” she said. It sounded so brutal and cruel that I could hardly understand how people were capable of treating anyone – even a slave with such callousness.“Don’t look so shaken, you haven’t the breasts to carry two buckets of water even if I had the desire to teach you such a lesson, now off with your wet clothes and let us be about the business of planting” Madame insisted.I could hardly believe she expected me to walk through the house in nothing but underskirts. She insisted that the others were asleep and unless I wanted them to see me this way I would hurry.I got out of my soaking bed and removed the linens and set them to dry while. I watched television but I couldn't tell you what was on. I didn't know if Kathleen were coming back. I desperately hoped she was, but I had no idea how to act or what to say when she did. A million scenarios danced in my mind, none of them good. I wondered if I should leave.I swore to myself that I'd never do it again. Never. A voice in the back of my head kept whispering that I could not possibly "never do it again," but I tried to shout it down, saying that I had to. I had to put Martha behind me. I had to.Kathleen came home about an hour later. I was incredibly relieved to hear her car pull up but terrified as to what would happen. As she came in the front door, she avoided looking at me. "I don't think I want to talk right now Mark," she said. "Maybe tomorrow. Right now, I'm just going to fix myself something to eat and go upstairs to read." That's what she did and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening brooding in the living room. I tried to read and tried.
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